Official Newsletter of The Golden Raspberry Award Foundation
Volume XX/Issue #1 Spring 2001
Whatta Travoltin’ Development…7pm Saturday, Feb. 3rd @ RAZZIE HQ
Preview Nite 2001: It’s A ‘BATTLEFIELD’
with No Dearth of RAZZIE Contenders
See Clips, Snips and Caustic Critics’ Quips on LITTLE NICKY, THE NEXT BEST THING, M:I-2…
and LOTS More of 2000’s BERRY Worst!
Variety called it “The SHOWGIRLS of sci-fi shoot-‘em-ups.” The New York
Times said it “may well be the Worst Movie of the NEW Century!” TIME toe-tagged it “the worst movie in living memory.” And The Toronto
Star said “we are now spared the sleepless nights of wondering which gobbler will dominate the RAZZIE Awards for Worst Turkey of the Year!” They’re
talking, of course, about The One Movie of 2000 that EVERYONE agrees Stunk to High Hubbard: BATTLEFIELD EARTH, Our Main Feature for
Preview Nite XXI, at RAZZIE HQ on Saturday, February 3rd at 7pm.
A Perfect Example of how Religious Zealotry and Superstar Ego do NOT Make
for Good Movie-Making, BATTLEFIELD is a miss-fire of Jaw-Dropping Dimensions. In fact, Variety got it wrong: It’s not the SHOWGIRLS of sci-fi
shoot-‘em-ups, it’s the INCHON of the genre! Co-produced by its star John Travolta and based on a novel by Scientology Founder L. Ron Hubbard, EARTH is
set on our planet a thousand years hence, when a Super Intelligent Race called Psychlos have enslaved mankind. How Super Intelligent are they? They
seem never to have grasped the concept of bathing, brushing their teeth or combing their hair. They speak in dialogue and accents that sound like Dudley
Doo-Right’s Nemesis Snidely Whiplash– Without ANY of His Subtlety. And to prove that Humans Are Inferior, they give one of them access to the very
knowledge and weaponry needed to overthrow the Psychlos. Sounds like maybe they’re no more Super Intelligent than the Dumb Schnooks who sank some $85
million into producing this GODZILLA-sized Turkey. Shot in Oddly Askew Camera Angles, Slathered with a Sliminess about its Props and Characters that
Makes One’s Flesh Crawl and Ploddingly Plotted to boot, BATTLEFIELD seems likely to get at least one Nomination in every category where it’s listed on
this year’s RAZZIE Nominating Ballot.
And, as the ballot makes clear, 2000 had No Shortage of Berry Bad Movies.
We’ll also be tossing in tid-bits from: Worst Actress of The Century Madonna Proving Even-Gay-Guys-Can’t-Resist-Me-If-They’re-Drunk-Enough in The Year’s
Most Fatuous Family “Drama” THE NEXT BEST THING; 1999 Worst Actor
“Winner” Adam Sandler in and as (and Largely-to-Blame-for-It’s-Being-So-Lame)
LITTLE NICKY; Potential Worst Actress Repeat Offender Bette Milder, Somehow Managing to Make Valley of the Dolls Author Jacqueline Susann seem Even MORE
Obnoxious Than She Really Was in ISN’T SHE GRATING; 1997 Best Supporting Actress Oscar® Winner (And Perennial RAZZIE Also-Ran)
Kim Basinger Strip-Mining Meryl Streep Territory in I DREAMED OF AFRICA; Worst Supporting
Actress Hopeful Joan Collins playing what Entertainment Weakly called a “T. Rex in DYNASTY Drag” in The Stone Age Sequel That
Isn’t. Even It’s RAZZIE Winning Precursor’s Equal THE FLINTSTONES IN VIVA ROCK VEGAS; 1998 Worst
Screen Couple “Winner” Leonardo (Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful!) DiCaprio playing A Bored Adventurer Seeking Some Sun
on THE BEACH; Worst Screen Couple Contenders Tom (Whatta Namazing Rubber Mask!) Cruise and Thandie (This Year’s Denise Richards) Newton in MISSION:
And More…And Worse…Way, WAY Worse!
Attendees get to Hand Deliver Their Nominating Ballots (and Alter Them After Seeing Some of This
Dreck!) For More Information About This Event, Inquire To:
We’ll Provide The Corn Dogs and Door Prizes…
You Provide The Laughs!!
The Worst Kind of GOSSIP!
DOES THIS MEAN SHE’LL NEVER ACT AGAIN??? (NOT THAT EVER DID!) According to an
article in PEOPLE Magazine (in the “Where Are They Now” section) Our Former Poster Child Pia Zadora has settled for Life Out of the Limelight. Posing for
a photo with mouth agape in front of an Andy Warhol Triptych of her face (bought and paid for by billionaire ex-husband Meshulam Riklis) The Hapless
Home Body and Mother of Three said, “I don’t miss show business at all – I’ve been there and done that!” Including one Grammy nomination, one Golden
Globe Award, Six RAZZIE Noms…and Four RAZZIE “Wins”!
YO! WHO BUT HE COULD PLAY ‘WHO’…?? A recent Internet item says the producers
of a long-delayed DR. WHO movie have chosen their leading man: None other than Our Awl-Time Cham-Peen and Worst Actor of The Century “Winner”
Sylvester Stallone (who’s up for a potential 25thRAZZIE Nomination this year for GET CARTER). Dat Rocky Dude apparently beat out fellow RAZZIE “Winner”
Tom Selleck, among others. The film may shootin England later this year…But won’t that mean DuhSly Wun will have to learn a new language?!?
A HOLLYWOOD EXPOSE’ OF THE LITERAL KIND? Now that his Oddball
Novel-Cum-Roman-a-Clef American Rhapsody has sold 125,000 copies, RAZZIE Worst Screenplay Namesake
Joe Eszterhas says he’s ready to write about “the reality, the myth, the laughter and the tears, the stars and the bit players” of
Tinsel Town. Promising “the truest book about Hollywood ever written,” That
Screen-Writin’ Schmoe says it’ll be “a loving book and a not-so-loving
book…” It’s set to be in bookstores in time for next year’s Oscar/RAZZIE
AS ‘MOMMIE’ DEAREST HERSELF ONCE SAID: “I WANT ALL THOSE BUSHES OUT OF THE
ROSE GARDEN!!” Among the Very Few “Celebrities” President-Select George W.
(“When-The-Supremes-Stopped-The-Counting-I-Claimed-I-Won!”) Bush could find to attend his Inaugural Balls and Bashes were RAZZIE Perennials and Past
“Winners” like Ah-nold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, Wayne Newton, Tom Selleck
and The Only One There Who MIGHT Be Dimmer Than The Prez-to-Be: RAZZIE Queen Bo Derek.
Coincidence or Not? – YOU Decide!
(And This Time, MAYBE Your Vote Will Count!)