© 1980-2005, Golden Raspberry Award Foundation and John Wilson

   
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The San Diego Union-Tribune / Friday, February 15, 2002 HOLLYWOOD VINE NORMA MEYER RUEFUL RAZZ-BERRIES: JUST A NIGHT OF FUN...UNLESS YOU WIN February 15, 2002/ARTESIA It's hard to stomach food and watch rot, but the RAZZIE comrades snack on raspberry yogurt bars, raspberry spritzer cookies and chocolate raspberry decaf as they give the raspberry to movies in the Head RAZZberry's modest living room. This is headquarters of the Anti-Oscars. And these are the berry people who mega-monied, swell-headed Hollywood would like to turn into pulp. It's the ever-vicious preview night, just hours before nominating ballots are due for the world-renowned 22nd annual Golden Raspberry (RAZZIE) Awards. On the eve of the Academy Awards, Tinseltown's tackiest trophy a $4.29 gold, spray-painted plastic raspberry atop a mangled, Super-8 film reel on a Lipton raspberry iced-tea jar lid will "dis-honor" pics and performances that reek, and which any dolt who saw them wonders how they got made. "Yo!" the 20 gathered RAZZIE critics yell, mocking the cavemanlike all-time RAZZIE champ, Sylvester Stallone. They snipe at snippets of Worst Picture candidate "Driven," which Head RAZZberry John Wilson, clad in gold T-shirt and raspberry-colored sweat pants, refers to as "Drivel." Meanwhile, Wilson's 6-year-old son offers raffle tickets for door prizes that include raspberry jam. It's mortifying enough that the $150 million "Pearl Harbor" (six noms here, including Worst Picture and Worst Actor hopeful Ben Affleck) and ingenue Penelope Cruz (Worst Actress contender for "Blow," "Captain Corelli's Mandolin" and "Vanilla Sky") are clobbered, but there's insult added to injury. The 500-member voting RAZZIE foundation (which is 400 more bodies than the Golden Globes judging panel) is open to anyone paying $25 dues, and it boasts lots of show-biz folks, including screenwriters, publicists, art directors and actors. Wilson, 47, writes and produces trailers and on-air promos for films. FRUITS OF THEIR LABOR Says a Hollywood set electrician: "You can smell it when you work on it." He means the stinkaroos. The potential "losers" for Worst Picture announced this week the traditional 24-hour damper before the ego-tripping Oscar nods are: "Driven" ("Stallone's latest vehicle to run out of gas at the box office," according to Wilson), "Freddy Got Fingered" ("execrable, excrement-encrusted 'comedy' from idiot non-savant Tom Green"), "Glitter" ("Mariah Carey in laughably lip-sunk screen debut"), "Pearl Harbor" ("the year's biggest-grossing, longest ... box-office bomb"), and "3,000 Miles to Graceland" ("repeat offender Kevin Costner in a tale of gun-toting, casino-robbing Elvis impersonators"). "Sorry, Mr. Stallone is not going to comment on the awards, and he will not be attending the event," his rep icily tells a reporter. This is her return phone call because her first reaction when told the fab news that "Driven" nabbed seven noms, including Sly's four for Picture (including Worst Producer), Supporting Actor, Screenplay and Screen Couple with Burt Reynolds was stone, cold silence. "I'm not going to comment on it," snaps a mouthpiece for Worst Actress shoo-in Carey. Her "Glitter" cleavage is up for Worst Screen Couple. At least the "idiot non-savant" has one funny bone. "I am very proud and honored to be nominated for these awards," gushes Green, whose "Freddy" fiasco led with eight noms, including Worst Actor. "I've never won an award before. I hope there is an actual trophy because I've already dusted off my mantel. I guess dreams can come true." Wilson, who founded the RAZZIES during a yawner Oscarcast with friends, only has one trophy on hand since the turkeys don't show. The only winner to ever appear and who took home the prototype Golden Raspberry after a standing ovation was a good-natured Paul Verhoeven, Worst Director for 1995's "Showgirls." Robert Conrad, star of the 1960s TV series "The Wild Wild West," so loathed the 1999 movie version of the same name with Will Smith that he attended so he could publicly rip the all-around RAZZIE fav. Occasionally, nominees get confused. Two bodybuilding brothers who starred in "The Barbarians" were overhead shouting in the lobby of a Hollywood hotel before the 1988 ceremony: "What? This means we suck?" They didn't win, but stormed the stage anyway to give an acceptance speech. "The audience threw popcorn," Wilson recalls. Green won't say if he'll show for the cream-of-the-crud awards March 23 at a Santa Monica theater. And fat chance that other don't-wannabes for Worst Actor Affleck, Costner, Keanu Reeves ("Hardball," "Sweet November") and John Travolta ("Domestic Disturbance," "Swordfish") or Worst Actress Carey, Cruz, Angelina Jolie ("Lara Croft: Tomb Raider," "Original Sin"), Jennifer Lopez ("Angel Eyes," "The Wedding Planner") and Charlize Theron ("Sweet November") will say thanks, I tanked. As usual, though, there'll be clips of clunkers and an Oscar-like musical number, this year to the tune "Hooray for Hollywood." Only it'll be "Hooray for What's No Good." "The RAZZIES aren't meant as a slap in the face," a chuckling Wilson says. "It's a banana peel on the floor." 2002, Union-Tribune Publishing Company

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