Forum Members' Discussion of JOHN CARTER

 

1.) There's some serious uncanny valley: In one scene, a bunch of baby martians hatch and they're some of the creepiest creatures to ever appear in a Disney movie. They're ugly, they have an annoying, creepy screech, and it appears that we're supposed to find them "ugly-cute".

 

2.) The 3-D in the Wrath Of The Titans trailer was better: Yes, the sequel to the movie that defined horrible post-production 3-D hackjob conversions has better 3-D in its trailer than a $250 million Disney movie. The only scene in John Carter that I noticed 3-D was the scene with the white ape, and it was a rip-off of the scene in Trannies Three where LaButthole and Josh Duhamel swing off Starscream's eye.

 

3.) The acting is meh: Other than Taylor Kitsch, who's bland, and Lynn Collins, who has some of the most hilarious facial expressions since Jeremy Irons in D&D, the acting isn't very bad.

 

4.) The special effects were good, but not great: They're not bad, but compared to the Transformers movies (which actually cost less!!) they don't stack-up.

 

5.) The Razzie prospects are low: The only nominations I see this film maybe getting are Worst Actor for Kitsch (mainly because he's in Battleship) and Worst 3-D (if we bring it back),

 

Now....problem one with this movie is that it is 2012, not 1912. When Edgar Rice Burroughs was bouncing between novels about Tarzan and John Carter, Mars was pretty big in the public consciousness. Percivall Lowell was still hanging around, beating the drum for the notion that a dying civilization lived on Mars. War of the Worlds was only a decade old and still being widely read and we weren't aware that Mars wasn't a very pleasant place to grow up yet. Folks in my age group were on the tail end of the generations that thrilled to Carter's exploits. But the demographic for this movie has mostly never heard of John Carter. In fact, most of them have probably never heard of Edgar Rice Burroughs. We can add in that it's original release was haulted by reedits and it is was dumped into theaters in March, not qualifying as a summer release. It will find an audience because there isn't much else to see out there right now, but the guess here is that by June, nobody will remember that this movie was ever in the theaters.

 

Um overseas? Disney actually gets a lot from foreign markets, when compared to other companies. 

Also yeah I'm sorry about that SchumacherH8ter comment, but you what do you expect when you're on forums where people are blasting you day and night, with remarks like Moron.