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LOVE RANCH

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cvcjr13 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote cvcjr13 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: LOVE RANCH
    Posted: July 09 2010 at 10:51pm
DIRECTOR TAYLOR HACKFORD OF RAY (WHO WON AN OSCAR FOR A SHORT FILM) PAIRS UP HIS OSCAR-WINNING WIFE HELEN MIRREN AND ANOTHER OSCAR WINNER, JOE PESCI.  THESE THREE OSCAR WINNERS THEN MAKE A MOVIE ABOUT JOE AND SALLY CONFORTE AND THEIR INFAMOUS BROTHEL, MUSTANG RANCH.  IT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT NOIR FILM RICH IN COMIC, TRAGIC, LUSTFUL, INCREDULOUS, BRUTAL MOMENTS, DOESN'T IT?
 
INSTEAD, LOVE RANCH HAS MIRREN SPORTING A PSEUDO-ACCENT, PESCI IMITATING PESCI AND A SCRIPT THAT COBBLES TOGETHER CORNY CLICHÉS, CLUMSY SPEECHES AND A VOID OF COMPELLING INTEREST. 
 
SO, DON'T BOTHER WITH THIS BROTHEL, OR ELSE THE HOOKERS AT THIS RANCH WILL NOT BE THE ONLY ONES GETTING SCREWED. . . . UNLESS YOU WANT TO RAZZ IT.  THEN LET THE RAUNCHY PUNS BEGIN! . . .
 
 
.
 
"THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING THE ONE PERSON TO SHOW UP FOR OUR MOVIE. . . ."  

 
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cvcjr13 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote cvcjr13 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 09 2010 at 11:08pm
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BurnHollywoodBurn View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote BurnHollywoodBurn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 10 2010 at 6:45am
Hmmm, looks like cvcjr is going into business for himself.
The Four Horsemen of the Moviepocalypse: uncalled for sequels/remakes/reboots, 3-D surcharges, untalented "celebrities", and anything with Michael Bay's name attached to it.
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cvcjr13 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote cvcjr13 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 10 2010 at 6:57am
Now, now --  You know full well that HeadRAZZ pointed out that I was free to give it a try back over here at the Predators forum
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JoeBoyden View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote JoeBoyden Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 10 2010 at 1:21pm

Great job, cvcjr! Clap

 

BTW, Love Ranch has two previous Razzie nominees in supporting roles: Joe Pesci (Lethal Weapon 4) and Gina Gershon (Showgirls).

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cvcjr13 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote cvcjr13 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 10 2010 at 7:20pm
Well, thanks Joe.  It really isn't quite up to par, though, but that really wasn't the point.  The point was to do it just to see what it's like.  And like I said in different words over at the Predators forum, it needs a certain approach, like that of a mischievous ringmaster.  Something along the lines of: "And over here, you have a trapeze artist who couldn't find the trapeze bar if you duct-taped his hands to it. . . ."  HeadRAZZ has the whole thing perfected.  I feel this is more like a crayon drawing. . . .
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saturnwatcher View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote saturnwatcher Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 10 2010 at 9:56pm
But it's a GOOD crayon drawing Clap
Nine times out of ten, in art as in life, there is no truth to be discovered, only an error to be exposed.--H.L. Menken
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BurnHollywoodBurn View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote BurnHollywoodBurn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 11 2010 at 12:25am
Yeah, I was only kidding, cvcjr13! I think you did a decent good on your first try. And a pretty good picture caption, too.  

Originally posted by cvcjr13

Now, now --  You know full well that HeadRAZZ pointed out that I was free to give it a try back over here at the Predators forum
The Four Horsemen of the Moviepocalypse: uncalled for sequels/remakes/reboots, 3-D surcharges, untalented "celebrities", and anything with Michael Bay's name attached to it.
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cvcjr13 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote cvcjr13 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 11 2010 at 3:47am
Thanks, saturnwatcher and BHB.  Now, those are compliments I can accept. 
 
Yeah, the selection of the picture and the caption I came up with are probably the two parts that turned out best.
 
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BurnHollywoodBurn View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote BurnHollywoodBurn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 11 2010 at 7:49pm
After watching the trailer, this movie comes across as being a clusterf***. It's about a whore house, but it's also about boxing, but it's also about a love triangle ... what the f***?! Stick to one subject!
The Four Horsemen of the Moviepocalypse: uncalled for sequels/remakes/reboots, 3-D surcharges, untalented "celebrities", and anything with Michael Bay's name attached to it.
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cvcjr13 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote cvcjr13 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 11 2010 at 8:36pm

The whorehouse (a.k.a. brothel), the boxing and the love triangle are all part of the real life story (go over to Wikipedia and read up on the Confortes for a start).  Joe and Sally Conforte did start Mustang Ranch when brothels in Nevada were controversial, Joe Conforte did decide to branch into boxing and bought the contract of an Argentine boxer, Sally Conforte did start an affair with the boxer, and it was a whole mess ending in the Confortes reuniting and Joe Conforte's bodyguard killing the boxer.  And then the IRS seized Mustang Ranch. . . .

However, I feel strongly there was a way to unify all these threads into one story, and this movie fails to do that.  For example, when I read about Joe Conforte in newspapers, he came across as a bigger than life person, not as a small-time loser as he may seem when you look at what he actually accomplished.  I mean, you have to read between the lines in this - how could this guy stay in business as long as he did with so many people against him?  It seems part of the reason was because of who he was.  Based on the trailer, I don't see this movie brought out this bigger-than-life person, and bringing that out may have avoided the "clusterf***" you found.  There were other ways to flesh out the wild history of the place.
 
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BurnHollywoodBurn View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote BurnHollywoodBurn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 11 2010 at 10:15pm
Yeah, but then again, my opinion is based on what I saw in a trailer, so maybe the film is better excuted in terms of telling those many treads. But then again, maybe not.
The Four Horsemen of the Moviepocalypse: uncalled for sequels/remakes/reboots, 3-D surcharges, untalented "celebrities", and anything with Michael Bay's name attached to it.
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