RAMBO 5: Last (?) Blood

That Dead Horse Rides Again
by Raleigh Welch

​Sylvester Stallone is taking his dead horse to the old town road. With eight Razzie Awards and 22 Nominations, including the Worst Actor of the Century Award, it was inevitable that Stallone would re-appear at the Razzies someday. With Rambo: Last Blood, it looks like we may be seeing him soon. The Rambo franchise has a special place in Razzies canon just like the Rocky franchise, both started strong but quickly descended into muscle-bound caricatures of hot-blooded American men fighting in the Cold War and—since the Cold War seems to be back—Stallone has resurfaced in both franchises. Check out the trailer for Rambo: Last Blood.
 
So far there’s not much to go on—the trailer at a little more than a minute,  seems to have been lifted from First Blood and Rambo: First Blood II.  What we’ve been teased with, appears worthy of a Razzie already.

1. It looks like Rambo meets the plot of Taken and the editing of Taken 3. (there’s now an entire subgenre of old action stars doing anything necessary to find their kidnapped female relatives). Stallone is joining the ranks of Liam Neeson, Nicholas Cage, and Denzel Washington—action stars trying to revitalize their careers by reuniting their fictional families. Hollywood has been in love with this formula forever, so much so that it has its own list on IMDb with almost 100 entries.  Like any trend, Hollywood is bound to cannibalize it until it ends up at the Razzies. It looks like Rambo: Last Blood is derivative and unoriginal enough to land it at least a nod (or more) at this year’s awards.
2. It is already incredibly self-congratulatory; whereas Rambo: First Blood 2 made the series lighter-hearted (and more gratuitous), Rambo: Last Blood seems to be a giant pat on Stallone’s back. This may be the marketing team selling the hype of Rambo, but there were a lot of shot-for-shot callbacks in the trailer. All the muscle-bound glory of the 80s might have gotten to Stallone’s head. The Razzies pays special attention to Hollywood product that takes itself too seriously.  
3. This sequel looks nothing like Creed. Unlike Rocky tactfully passing the torch, it looks like we’re going to have to pull the Rambo franchise from Stallone’s cold dead hands. It’s easy to see why: Rambo and Stallone played a large part in defining what an action star is. Sylvester Stallone is synonymous with the action movie. Even if Rambo: Last Blood doesn’t end up at the Razzies, it’s hard to see this redefining the Rambo franchise like Creed did for Rocky.
4. If we’re totally wrong about this, then Stallone still might be coming back for another Redeemer Award (Stallone won the Redeemer Award in 2015 for Creed). We don’t mind being wrong here at the Razzies. The Razzies are not about putting down some actors as “bad”, but rather about calling out (and having fun with) Hollywood’s overindulgences. Stallone himself is a capable writer and actor, being one of only three people ever to have been Oscar-nominated for both categories in the same year. But Stallone also took home eight Razzie Awards, and that involves scraping the bottom of the barrel for phoned-in performances. Rambo: Last Blood could be a poignant, powerful role for Stallone, or it could be more melodramatic hogwash.

 “All she’s got is me.”  - Rambo in his 5th iteration
Well, we have other candidates for this year’s 40th – but Sly, you could very well be a contender!
We’ll find out when the conclusion (?)  of the Rambo franchise hits theaters with Rambo: Last Blood on September 20th!